Major Life Transitions

They tell you to write what you know, and I know this: Transitions can be hard. When my son was a toddler, no amount of preparation could ease him out of a situation where he was comfortable. Departures never went smoothly, usually ending in a tantrum. There wasn’t a playground, restaurant, grocery store or library within striking distance of our house that had not been treated to his ear piercing wails of “No! I’m not ready yet!” To him, transitions were always abrupt and cruel, even when they weren’t.

Transitions can be extraordinarily painful and disruptive for adults, as well. It doesn’t seem to matter if change arrives without warning or if we can see it coming from a mile away. Our reactions often involve an exhausting cocktail of negative feelings (fear, anger, sadness, self-doubt, confusion) and can leave us without a clear path forward.

Transitions can include:

· Externally imposed change in career

· Separation and divorce

· Serious illness or accident

· Disruption in family relationships

· Relocation

· Loss of a loved one

· Financial uncertainty

Fortunately, life transitions can have a positive side, too. They offer us opportunities to grow and learn and to assess the directions our lives are taking. How is it that some people don’t just survive, but manage to thrive in the face of change and uncertainty? How can we use these inevitable challenges as catalysts for personal growth? Here are some ideas:

· Learn to identify and express your feelings

· Accept that change is a normal part of life

· Identify your values and life goals

· Focus on the payoffs

· Stay sober

· Get comfortable with uncertainty

· Build your support system

· Exercise, rest and eat well

· Don’t be in a rush

· Treat yourself with compassion

· Talk to a professional

Despite the overwhelming emotions that transitions can bring, they almost always come with a silver lining. Change is inevitable. Growth is optional. You get to choose.